Selected photos and journal entries from my summer internship with Voice of Children (VOC) in Katmandu, Nepal. The internship consisted of working with street children in the Welcome Center (WC/Drop Center) of VOC, and exploring Nepal with Matt Mcguire (Kathmandudes) and the national staff . Matt worked in the Preparation Center (PC/Rehabilitation Center) at VOC. We lived in a VOC office building along with a family who took care of us. Their son Bibash became our primary cultural ambassador (despite the fact that he consistently referred to us as “baby” [e.g. Bibash: “Why you not add me on that one facebook Baby?” Me: “Bibash, I added you on your first facebook; why do you need 3 facebook profiles?” Bibash: “I know allllllll Baby”]).
Note: In an attempt at recording the full spectrum of my experience, I included some of the darker/culture-shocking journal entries towards the end of this post. I believe that these entries reflect how I felt at the time but not what I believe. I do want to say that, overall, this was a very positive experienced. After I adjusted to the highs and lows of the context, I experienced a sense of peace in Nepal that I have yet to experience anywhere else in world.
“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”
6-11-12
“I think I’ve given up on mentally preparing myself for international journeys. I don’t know what awaits in Katmandu. I don’t know what work I will be doing or what culture I will have to adjust to. . . I want God to set the tone for this trip.”
6-12-12
“Times in the United Arab Emirates are apparently always crazy. I landed at 7 P.M. and got a bus into Abu Dhabi.”
6-13-12
“The days blur together since I never actually went to sleep. After exploring Abu Dhabi, I stayed up all night at the airport. . . I landed in Nepal at 4:30. . . When I got to Voice of Children (the organization we are working with in Nepal) I was given a tour of the grounds, and met some of the staff. The staff were great.”
6-14-12
“First day on the job. We woke up to loud Hindu chanting. . . After meeting with [our boss] Krishna, we headed to VOC–Bisaune. This is where they have their drop center and their short-term rehab center. So street children will come to the drop center and if they show interest and promise, they are admitted into the rehab program. The main goal of VOC is to reunite children with their families. . . It is a challenge though. VOC works with both families and children to coordinate the children moving back into the home. While the children are with VOC they receive food, housing, a locker, psychological support, medical services, and education. Matt and I are, apparently, working in program development.”
6-15-12
“Matt was assigned the upstairs rehab center and I was assigned the drop center. . . I had a long meeting with my supervisor. He said that my job would basically consist of being with the kids and creating a safe environment. Basically I’m hanging out (orphans and widows). I feel myself engaged and communicating with kids that speak none of the same language. We play games with everything from plastic balls to strings; reminiscent of my childhood–before the iPhone era. We have fun with any and everything. The children are affectionate and violent–as my one day of experience teaches me.”
6-16-12
“Today we walked the 365 steps up to Swayambhunath Stupa, which is high on a hill. You can see it from all over Katmandu.”
6-17-12
“We decided we would meet Laxmi in Sundara as Katmandu Mall at 11. We walked from there to Durbar square where we saw the palace of the old kings of Katmandu.”
“From Durbar we walked to get a bus to Bhaktapur, and in Bhaktapur we saw the palace of the king of Bhaktapur and many other beautiful, ancient structures.”
6-18-12
“Monday, our second day off. . . I slept in my hammock for the first time the previous night. Our mattresses are very stiff, so I thought I would get better sleep in my hammock. This hammock process was also sped up by the night before finding a 3 in. long cockroach crawling on my arm. Matt woke up to me smashing my Chaco against the mattress over and over. Monday was chill we went to Thamel and browsed the endless mountaineering shops.”
6-19-12
“Namaste! Namaste! Namaste! w/ praying hands and a smile to every staff and child. The children in the drop center welcome me by telling me to flex and then by squeezing my biceps. They hang on my forearms and I get my morning workout by doing curls with street children. This is a beautiful interaction and it reminds my easily hopeless psyche that there is not only hope for my trip, but also for humanity.”
6-20-12
“I am starting to learn some of the specifics of the situations of the children who frequent (or never leave) the Welcome Center. One of them, Himal, is an awesome kid. He is always busy playing, eating, working or occupying his time in some way, and he is always singing softly to himself. The skeleton of his story: his parents live on the street begging in a local temple. He was found sick on the street by an organization who took him in and helped him get well, but they didn’t have the facilities for long-term care so they referred him to VOC. . . He hasn’t left for around two weeks, and they are preparing to move him to rehabilitation, which is the ultimate goal, but I will miss him down here.
6-22-12
“What does God want? Love and justice to the vulnerable (orphans and widows).”
6-23-12
“First day at Looboo Children’s Home. The ride out there was refreshing. It rained the whole way and, as we got further from the city center, the air became clear. Terraced farms and sprawling rice fields took back the landscape. The predominate color was green.”
6-24-12
“Holiday. . . We decided to knock out 2 more of Katmandu’s world heritage sites. I need to get out of the house pretty bad. So, early in the afternoon and we’re off in the rain to find a taxi to Boudanath Stupa.” Boudanath was really unique. The huge circular stupa was surrounded by historic Buddhist monasteries and cafes.”
“We decided to stick with the plan and visit the other world heritage site, Pashupatinath. This site was a sprawling temple complex. On the far reaches of the temple it mixes with the jungle, and there is a river running through the middle of the complex. Pyres line the river where they perform cremations and dump the ashes in the river. Monkeys own the site. “
6-25-12
“Today, Patan Durbar Square. It was beautiful, but difficult to appreciate when stacked up against yesterday’s temple excursions.
6-26-12
“Today, what a day. I started a game of canon board, Narijan went off on a kid, apparently he was punched in the chest. When I looked up he had a chair over his head ready to slam down on this kids face. Anil grabbed the chair mid-swing. Narijan went for a wooden chess board next. Lalit had to hold him back. Anil told the new kid to leave the room, and Narijan tried to storm out after him wielding a plastic trash can, but Anil grabbed him and sat him down in the office. By this point Narijan was hysterical. I walked into the office to find Narijan’s own vomit all over the floor and in his lap with strings of spittle and vomit hanging from his chin. He was clutching his chest and crying from pure agony. He eventually started sliding out of his chair. He rolled on the floor in his vomit, crying, and still clutching at his chest. Govinda came down, and they decided to take him to the hospital. I picked him up, and Anil wiped him off. I carried him out the door and Anil took him from me and got on the bike downstairs with Narijan and Govinda. I went back to the Welcome Center and cleaned up vomit. It was a rough day, with violence being the primary dialect (orphans and widows).”
6-29-12
“I took the first steps of taking this experience in my own hands. I created some papers that I will use for a drawing class project. I also talked to my supervisor, Sanat, about creating an addiction management training for children who cannot enter the preparation center because of various addictions (mostly smoking). I also expressed my interest in taking the night shift, just to get an idea of what the whole experience of the children is like. . . At the end of the work day the kids were playing football in the area out back. The condition of the back “yard” is pretty gross. It’s gravel and rotting mud that has been festering for weeks, sitting there stagnant. Filthy ducks move as a pack around the area, and I’m pretty sure someone’s sewer drains in the corner. So naturally, with the lot in such condition, we play football. . . barefoot. Mud flies, sludge gets stuck in hair as the ball is headed, and smells are ignored in the face of the glory of goal-scoring. After several matches, Matt and I washed up as much as we could.”
6-30-12
“Day 2 at the Children’s home. We finished and got back to Sanepa earlier than we expected, and we started to get ready to go to Pokhara. We boarded a night bus to Pokhara at 7:00. The bus was ridiculous, hundreds of day-old chicks peeped away peacefully from their cardboard boxes in the back. The ride was nightmarish. Pitch black, being yanked in and out of sleep by the bus bucking over potholes. The bus would stop and the aluminum oven mechanics would wake me; sweat burning my eyes. This was a hazy eternity; then the sun started to rise.”
7-01-12
“Time to start the weekend. We went to David falls first. It’s a waterfall that falls into a cave. Next up: hike to the World Peace Pagodah. . . The 2 hour hike to the pagoda was incredible.”
Overall, Pokhara was nice; it was good to get a change of scenery, find some quiet, some clear air, and some peace.”
7-02-12
“My hopes for a really chill comfortable return trip were overcome by the massive woman who managed to squeeze her body between mine and the man I assume was her husband. Regardless of both mine and her efforts to hold back her body on her seat, it was a hopeless cause. She spilled into my territory like water. I tried my best to hold my ground, but if I let my guard down at all I found myself completely compressed against the window. Luckily she and her hubby got off after an hour. Sweet relief. The rest of the trip was beautiful. We passed along a wide gravely river at the bottom of steep hillsides. We passed rice fields that were cut into the sides of the mountain, with water buffalo pulling plows through the flooded patties. There were big suspension walking bridges every couple of kilometers.”
7-7-12
“Day 3 at the children’s home. When we arrived they strongly suggested that we take dahlbhat and curd with everyone else. We hesitantly accepted. The curd isn’t known for being the best around here. Later in the afternoon the games commenced. We initiated a finger jousting tournament, which was mildly successful, and then we gave into the cries for British Bulldog [a game that I taught them from my Boy Scout days]. This game freakin’ wears me out. Either Matt or I almost always win, and then we have to be the bulldog, which is particularly exhausting. Right after a couple rounds of being exhausted in British Bulldog, we played a couple of matches of football, and then I was really out of it. They got their money out of me today, especially since I’m paying them to be here.”
“No shave Nepal is still in full swing.”
7-8-12
“Matt and I went to coffee, and then we headed to Civil Mall for an epic Bollywood experience “Bol Bachchan.” The best parts were the fight scenes, where every time the main character’s fist connected with skin there was a Mario coin “ching” sound. Also the English was ridiculous. I think they were making fun of the language; it was so horrible. The most amazing quote was: “Hard work is the keyhole to the saxophone.””
7-12-12
“Mad house at VOC today, the kids were crazy. I’m feeling especially tired and pessimistic today. The children are very egocentric. They only really care about themselves at least most of them. If they could take the shirt off of your back they would. There is some hope, but so many of the children make it dim with their violence, drug use, stealing, and generally being all about themselves. It’s hard for me because I have nothing to respond with. I have no language, and no way of communicating with them. It’s rough to just absorb it and not have essential tools to make an impact. Knowing this drains my will.“
7-13-12
“Today at Bisaune was a little bit better than the last couple of days, which were torturous. I’m trying to get my mind right.”
7-14-12
“Matt and I are exhausted. I feel cycles of wanting to kill someone and wanting to sleep. I have worked hard to keep the realization that everything is still meaningful, and I will stand. I will stand in work, meaning, love, culture, strength, weakness, and reality. I will stand and I will act in what I stand, not in what I feel.”
7-16-12
“I went to Thamel and tried to make trekking arrangements. I have a unique situation, and throughout the day as I slogged from one trekking agency to another I realized something: Everyone in Nepal is taking advantage of me because I’m white. It was an idea that felt so true, and it partially is. But it was the absolutist nature of the idea that sucked my life. . . Matt had a similarly frustrating day at the Indian Embassy; we went to the gym and thrashed weights like I haven’t done in a long time. On my way home a very small girl smiled at me, helping to crack my absolutist false beliefs.”
7-17-12
“There is this collective anxiety level that hangs in the air in the Welcome Center. It’s thick and palpable like humidity. When one person starts fighting it raises the anxiety level. Everyone feels the constricting angst in the room and more fights breakout. It’s a weight plate hung around my neck every time I have to break up another freaking fight.”
7-18-12
“Because of this day I have a new theory. When Matt and I started working it rained for about the first month, and things were fine. Then it stopped raining for about a week, which is weird for monsoon season. That week lasted until today, and it is raining steadily. Today the demon children that haunted the WC have been transformed into rosy-cheeked cherubs. So, my hypothesis; The weather secondarily, but rather directly inversely affects my mood and energy level. Because when it is sunny the children have more energy, it’s hotter, and the collective anxiety is much higher. Thus there are fights all day long. When it’s rainy everyone is really chill, and they play nicely. So when it’s sunny I spend all day breaking up fights, and when it’s rainy, like today, I can chill and read and interact with the kids. That being said today was awesome, and the weather and energy level change were an answer to prayer.”
7-19-12
“The power is out in the long-term at Sanepa. We woke up without power, and they haven’t had it all day today.”
7-23-12
“Today we are supposed to free fall 150 meters from the end of a rubber band. But it didn’t work out. They were closed on Mondays. On the way to the resort some guys got on top of the bus I had asked the guys in charge 3 times if I could get on top and they shut me down. This time same guy, and I asked again he waved his hand up with his consent. Yes! I climbed up the iron ladder to the roof to join the sole occupant who was lounging amid plastic enclosed bed spreads and toilet paper rolls. Matt followed, and the bus started back down the narrow road–river on one side steep mountain on the other. Soon we were hurtling around corners in awe of the raw beauty, waterfalls rocketed down from hillsides and dropped off on all sides of the valley, and everything was green. I clutched to the iron bars on top as the bus tilted around the tight curves. This is a moment that will become one of those moments. A remember when. . . moment.”
7-28-12
“I signed up for bungy jumping tomorrow.”
7-29-12
“I was nervous when I really thought about it, but it wasn’t a big deal to me. . . until I was standing on the platform looking down at the 500 ft. free fall, and I thought why does anyone ever do this. 3…2…1… bungy. When you first jump everything gets stuck. Your mind goes blank, your breath is stuck inside your lungs, and your eyes are fixed on the amount of space beneath you. After about 2 seconds your breath comes back, let it all out.”
7-30-12
“All I knew is that we were headed to a temple. We ended up at Bouda, a small version of Swyambu. I loved the temple. It was small and there were no tourists and it was quiet.”
7-31-12
“Here we go one last long week. I think the greatest skill to develop in developing countries is patience through boredom and ambiguity. . . After work I headed to the gym and I stopped at this dingy little local cafe where I usually eat. It’s below street level and it is cramped and dirty. I like it a lot. I usually get egg chow mein, but I’m feeling crazy so I get egg chow mien and a half plate of buf momo and a mountain dew.”
8-2-12
“Thursday. The WC was super active when I walked in. They had made a ping-pong table out of 4 tables with books making up the net. As Bikram would say, “they are very much clever.”
8-3-12
“Today the veil was lifted on the real life of street children. I was working on paperwork in the office when Prikash and another child came in. The other child had a gash half an inch deep that ran all the way up his forearm. I wasn’t expecting to see something like this, and as I sat there looking at this kid I had a slight urge to vomit. It wasn’t because the wound was itself disgusting; it was because the child did it to himself. This is not how the world should be, but it is how the world really is. As I travel and see more and more; there is less that blows my world open, but this is one of those moments. There are two sides to the whole situation, and when you look at one side it is as if the other does not exist. When I look at the street children who are leaders–gang leaders scarred from head to toe–I can’t imagine anyone leaving the street life. But when I look at the kids getting ready to transition to the Preparation Center, I think there is hope for every child. But as I look at this child, with his shirt off and more scars on his chest with mangy stitches sticking out of the scars and scabs, I see a dead man walking. “He will die on the street,” Bikram said, and I already knew that. I can’t imagine anyone escaping the street life.”
8-6-12
“Last day of work. I finished everything: smoking docs, art docs, Hasana docs, evaluation docs. All docs are finished and hopefully they provide a better life for the street children. After everything was finished we were thrown another program. Everyone will miss us and we will miss them. It has been truly life changing. Straight up, I will just miss them. Now it is mountain time.
—————–See “Himal” and “Sagarmatha” for a summary of my ~20 day mountain adventure—————–
8-23-12
“It was still early when my taxi arrived back to Sanepa.”
8-24-12
“I went to Bisaune and visited the staff and children of VOC. I didn’t recognize any of the children in the WC except for two that were going to the PC this week. I went up to the PC and that’s where all of my boys were. I knew at least 60% of them and they all looked like changed kids–cleaned up and sober. After visiting, I headed to Sundhara to buy a bus ticket to Lumbini.”
8-26-12
“It was hot in Lumbini. I went to the Maya Devi temple which was a stone ruin apparently very old. Also, apparently when they excavated it they found a stone marking the exact birthplace of Buddha. I walked something like 4 kilometers down the side of a long rectangular pool. I hired a rickshaw to take me a little bit further to the World Peace Pagodah. I did one lap around the Pagodah, wondering if it was possible to become snow-blind from the sun glaring off of the brilliantly white marble.”
8-28-12
“Today’s objective is to visit this Tibetan refugee camp. . . I ate some street food there and learned from the locals that virtually all of the refugees that had originally populated the camp came in the 60’s. Now their children, who were born in Nepal, are adults.”
8-29-12
“I said a final farewell to many of the staff and then went and visited the children in the WC and PC, all of my former kids from the WC–now in the PC–were excited to see me. It felt good to be in the know. I know where they come from. They know that I know, and they know a little bit about me. So there is a relationship of knowing between all of us, which is always something to be valued.”
8-30-12
“Last day, my flight leaves at 9 P.M. . . They took me to the airport and as I said goodbye as I met Laxmi. We said goodbye, and she did her worst by staring through the window of terminal B for 10 minutes. Every minute or so I would look over and give her a weak goodbye smile or a wave. Eventually, she waved one more time and was gone. So here I am, all ties untied, wandering through the universe between worlds. I can already predict my life for the next month, but the journey is so intriguing.”
“Here is thy footstool and there rest thy feet where live the poorest and lowliest and lost
When I try to bow to there, my obeisance cannot reach down to the depth where thy feet rest among the poorest and lowliest and lost
Pride can never approach to where thou walkest in the clothes of the humble among the poorest and lowliest and lost
My heart can never find its way to where thou keepest company with the companionless among the poorest, the lowliest and the lost.”
–Rabindranath Tagore